alright, I've found a solution after a few hours, and I'll document it here for those who run into the same issue.

for my problem, I knew that the proper "silabs" driver was installed on my computer, and when I plugged the board in, a COM port would show up in the GUI and in device manger - so I knew it was being read. it just wouldn't connect.

I disconnected all power cables (battery and USB)
I used a paperclip to jumper across the two solder-less holes in the middle of the board named "FLASH"
booted up the GUI 2.41, and selected the proper COM port (should be the last one in the list)
do NOT hit "connect"
go to the "manual" sub tab
hit "browse"
you should be in the firmware folder by default, in the GUI installation folder, but if not, navigate there
there is a recover.hex file in there, open it
select the 32 bit board
flash it.

flashing, beeping yadda yadda

remove jumper or paperclip from FLASH pins/holes on board
I then went back to the update tab, but instead went into "automatic"
read the serial number - hit "READ" (this would not work before)
hit "CHECK"
take their suggestion of the latest and greatest firmware
hit "UPGRADE!"

the beeping finally stops.

I'm now reassembling the unit. frig.

two things,

I've had this problem arise a few more times; once when I was tuning and the the serial data was corrupted and I lost connectivity. I tried reconnecting, and unplugging and plugging back in, and eventually began shutting down programs to reboot my computer because perhaps it was on the fritz, but then I tried one last time and it reconnected and the green light came back on. strange. The second time was when I wasn't anywhere near my computer or USB. I was out showing it to my friend, and I plugged in the battery and there was no green light, and no motor start up. I unplugged, plugged in. nothing. I tried about 4 times and finally it jumped to life. strangest thing.

I couldn't find the FLASH pin holes either - funny since the board is so tiny. near the centre of the board there is a small cluster of pins sticking up. three in a row are associated with "aux" and two are associated with "btn" (button). between these two rows of pins, there are two small holes that would have pins sticking out, but I suppose AlexMos believes the average person shouldn't be allowed to handle the power of reflashing the chip.

good luck.

I've gone through all the PID stuff and it seems to work great. The only final glitch is when the follow in pitch/roll mode is activated. It doesn't matter what settings I have punched into it, when I write to the chip, the pitch nods about 45 degrees down and holds there, or 45 degrees up, and holds there. in fact, I can hit the "write" button several times, and it will just toggle between these two positions. as soon as I disable this mode, the camera levels off like it should. the yaw follow works fine.

same thing 8 bit board...

How do you force flash the boards through Arduino?

I'm unfamiliar with the 8-bit board, so I have no idea whats up with those.

well, it seemed like this re-flash seemed to work, but there was a couple of times where I would get the "red light of death" (no green light at all, no motor activation etc). but after a disconnect and re-connect it seemed to jump back to life.

However now it is entirely useless. I will plug in the usb, reflash the board with the recovery firmware, get connectivity, load the most recent version of firmware on the board, reprogram the whole bugger, plug in the battery, unplug the USB and have some fun. But as soon as I was done with the gimbal and cut power to it (unplugged the battery in this case), and plugged it back in for next use, I would get the "red light of death". I'd then have to re-flash the firmware etc etc just to get it working again.

is this a RAM issue? it seems to not keep its programming after it looses power.